I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
