New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My feet surprised me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
