She even gives head with a lisp.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
