im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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