I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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