I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
