go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
