Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
