I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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