my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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