Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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