guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
