And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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