I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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