i just had sex bonerless
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
