Duck Duck Cougar?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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