ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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