Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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