he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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