he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
