we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
