I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize