Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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