Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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