No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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