we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
