I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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