OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
