Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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