My hand turned me down
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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