4 words: hood of his car
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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