Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize