You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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