I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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