Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
