Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
