Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
