I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
