Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
