You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize