Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize