i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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