this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
