guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
