I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize