Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
