1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize