Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
