Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+26): View more from

Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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(503): View more from Oregon

if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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(520): View more from Arizona

i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

This is what I get for listening to Christians.

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