There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
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We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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