I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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