You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
