Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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