Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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