Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
