yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
