So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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