2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
