It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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