yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
