i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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