I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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