Kiss
Puke
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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